It is a little like what Benjamin Franklin said:
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn”.
If you tell parties what to do or what you think they should do they will probably forget any benefit and remain annoyed about the dispute, possibly for years.
If you try to teach them how to problem solve without mediating they may remember some of it and gain benefit.
If you involve them, such as when the mediator has them doing all the work of talking, engaging, discussion, dialogue, exploration, explanation, uncovering, digging, delving, discovering, noticing, hearing, drilling down, finding a way and solving etc., they will learn that this is the best solution they can do and how to live with it, move on from it and prosper because of it.
